Fast End to 2012 Red Wings Hockey Beard

Well, it's that time of year again. Actually, that time of year has come a bit sooner than normal. We have an annual tradition at the high school where I work; guys choose NHL hockey teams to follow and then begin growing our beards at the start of the playoffs. This is a clever ploy by one of my colleagues to trick those of us who are not NHL fans into following his favorite sport. Everyone is prohibited from shaving until his team loses (or wins it all). It does make us pay attention. Because I was born in Michigan, I have always chosen the Detroit Red Wings. This year, I didn't have much of a chance to grow a beard, because they were the first team knocked out of the playoffs.

I guess I was expressing my disappointment in the Red Wings by having my glasses on crooked? Anyway, I already had a goatee before the contest began, so, as you can see, that part is much longer than the rest (and is crooked, too). In the run-up to the games, I decided that growing a beard around a goatee wasn't such a big deal. Instead, I would go a step further and shave the Red Wings logo into the hair on the sides of my head.

Because they got booted so quickly, it's hard to even make it out.

I thought I'd wait until the second round to wear that out in public. Phew! Dodged that bullet. So I shaved it all off.

Then I remembered that there was a reason I'd grown a goatee in the first place. This always happens to me when I shave it. So I decided, What the heck! I'll go all the way and shave off my eyebrows, too!

Too far?

Are NBA Divisions Deciding Who Is #1?

I just noticed something you might find interesting, too. In the NBA, in both conferences, the teams that are in first place are both in the divisions with the least teams making the playoffs. In other words, the teams that look the best are in what seem to be the weakest divisions.

For those of you who don’t follow the NBA enough to worry about the distinction between its conferences and divisions (forgivable, though objectively wrong, since everyone should follow the NBA), the NBA is divided into two conference (the Eastern and Western) and these are each divided into three divisions. Laid out on a map, you see that they are only roughly geographical.

For example, Memphis, TN is in the Western Conference. Similarly ridiculous, Minneapolis, MN is in the Northwest Division. (Oklahoma City is also in the Northwest Conference, but that’s because the team was in Seattle when the conference system was devised.) Geography aside, the number of times teams play one another is determined by their conferences and divisions. To quote NBA.com’s Hoopipedia, “Under this plan, teams play divisional opponents four times each (two home games/two road games), conference opponents outside the division three or four times each and opponents outside the conference two times each (one home game/one road game).” They play more games in their own conference, and even more in their own division. So why, on both the right and left coasts, are the number one teams in the weakest divisions? Is this cause or effect? Are these teams so good that they've driven their division rivals further down in the standings, or are they both weaker than they seem in that they have played weaker competition to earn their record number of wins?


Ultimately, the playoffs are organized to make this irrelevant. Seven game series don’t just show who is better on a single night; they do a good job of showing who is the better team. Teams that win their conferences don’t always win their way to the finals come playoff time. Even if the conference structure produces number one teams who can’t match their records once they are faced with the best opponents from stronger divisions for seven games, that's okay. “The truth will out.” In fact, it’s possible (though unlikely) that a few nights from now Miami may overtake Chicago in the Eastern Conference. Far more possible, San Antonio may overtake Oklahoma City in the Western Conference. Also, Milwaukee or Utah could crawl into the playoffs in the Central or Northwest Divisions, meaning those divisions wouldn't be the weakest in their conferences by that measure. In any of these scenarios, the phenomenon of both the best teams coming from the weakest divisions will come to an end before the playoffs begin. Still, for this brief moment in time, we have a glimpse of a way the conferences could be skewing the standings. It’s how they are skewing them that makes me wonder.

Study the Tiger

Study the tiger

Circling its prey

Every sinew curves

Into a winding path

While it’s burning bright.


There’s comfort in its trajectory;

Lives don’t move in straight lines.

Perhaps I too will come round to where I want to be

Through bends between trees in the darkness.


Or is this just a fantasy I choose,

Solace in my own winding path

Before the weight of the world

Lands on my back?