We're number one! Who? Me and the team I arbitrarily chose to root for!
In your face! Who? People who rooted for the other team I was only remotely aware of before this beard contest!
And now the obligatory credit to the divine for this inevitable end to a sporting event.
And the beard is doomed!
But before I remove the beard entirely, first... The Fu Manchu!
Awesome.
Sexy.
Okay, so I look like I'm auditioning for the Village People.
But Noah likes it.
Then, before ultimate freedom, I thought I'd try the handlebars. My mom really wanted to see just how much I'd look like my uncle, Dave.
Well, I can't do the cool handlebar mustache, obviously.
Do I look like a bald Uncle Dave?
Okay, that's enough silliness. Now, freedom!
I'm immediately struck by just how pasty I am. The beard absorbed a bit of the blinding light that reflects off my paler-than-white skin.
But it feels so good!
And now, the only faces that really matter:
If they're happy, I'm happy.
One last note; Noah, while I shaved, said I looked like Wolverine. Not a wolverine, the animal....
...but the Marvel Super Hero.
I don't really see it. I think I am now returning to my normal look, which unfortunately, is more like these Super Villains:
Lex Luthor (of Superman fame)
...and the faceless Chameleon from Spider-Man.
It seems the Red Wings have brought me back to super-villainy. So ends the saga of the beard. And now, on to my plotting of world domination!
1 comment:
Comments:
1) The nod to the divine was very touching.
2) The Fu Manchu is amazing. I think you should have kept it. I vote that it is the best look yet for ben.
3) The handlebar mustache makes you look a) twenty years older, and b) like a pederast. What's a pederast? Shut the @*#& up, Donny.
4) You are pasty, but at least without facial hair you look young enough to be married to that hot mammacita.
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