Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Red Wings Beard 3: Freakin' Finally!

Well folks, the Stanley Cup has officially changed hands for another year, and my face has been liberated from the indignity of a bad beard. Here I am celebrating:

Red Wings Win - Share on Ovi

We're number 1 - Share on Ovi
We're number one! Who? Me and the team I arbitrarily chose to root for!

In Your Face - Share on Ovi
In your face! Who? People who rooted for the other team I was only remotely aware of before this beard contest!

Give God Credit - Share on Ovi
And now the obligatory credit to the divine for this inevitable end to a sporting event.

Look mean - Share on Ovi
And the beard is doomed!

But before I remove the beard entirely, first... The Fu Manchu!

Fu Manchu! - Share on Ovi

Sexy - Share on Ovi

Trying out for the Village People - Share on Ovi
Okay, so I look like I'm auditioning for the Village People.

Noah thinks I'm cool - Share on Ovi
But Noah likes it.

Then, before ultimate freedom, I thought I'd try the handlebars. My mom really wanted to see just how much I'd look like my uncle, Dave.

handlebars - Share on Ovi
Well, I can't do the cool handlebar mustache, obviously.

Uncle Dave? - Share on Ovi
Do I look like a bald Uncle Dave?

Okay, that's enough silliness. Now, freedom!

So Pasty! - Share on Ovi
I'm immediately struck by just how pasty I am. The beard absorbed a bit of the blinding light that reflects off my paler-than-white skin.

But it feels so good. - Share on Ovi
But it feels so good!

And now, the only faces that really matter:

Paige and Noah are happy - Share on Ovi
If they're happy, I'm happy.

One last note; Noah, while I shaved, said I looked like Wolverine. Not a wolverine, the animal....
wolverine - Share on Ovi

Wolverine-Miller - Share on Ovi
...but the Marvel Super Hero.

I don't really see it. I think I am now returning to my normal look, which unfortunately, is more like these Super Villains:

Lex_Luthor_003 - Share on Ovi
Lex Luthor (of Superman fame)

Chameleon - Share on Ovi
...and the faceless Chameleon from Spider-Man.

It seems the Red Wings have brought me back to super-villainy. So ends the saga of the beard. And now, on to my plotting of world domination!

1 comment:

laurenj said...

1) The nod to the divine was very touching.

2) The Fu Manchu is amazing. I think you should have kept it. I vote that it is the best look yet for ben.

3) The handlebar mustache makes you look a) twenty years older, and b) like a pederast. What's a pederast? Shut the @*#& up, Donny.

4) You are pasty, but at least without facial hair you look young enough to be married to that hot mammacita.