Showing posts with label UPS delivery man. Show all posts
Showing posts with label UPS delivery man. Show all posts

Sunday, March 22, 2009

25 Random Lies About Me, issue twenty-four

Lots and lots of people have pet monkeys. It's a well known fact.

Pet Monkey - Share on Ovi

But I had a pet silverback gorilla.

silverback gorilla - Share on Ovi

His name was Fluffy, which seemed totally appropriate when he was just a baby.

baby gorilla - Share on Ovi

Then he grew up. Pretty soon things got a little frightening.

Gorilla_western_lowland_stern_face - Share on Ovi

After Paige and I started dating, Fluffy created a lot of tension for us. Eventually she would say things like, "I just feel like we're not alone when we're in your apartment," or "It's Fluffy or me," or "You do realize he could rip one of your arms off on accident, don't you?"

But I was very loyal to Fluffy until he did, in fact, rip a UPS man's arm off when Fluffy got to excited about a delivery.

angry gorilla - Share on Ovi

That was the first and last time I had to admit to Paige that she was right and I was wrong. I'll never put myself in that position again. And I learned my lesson. Fluffy had to go so that I could forge a relationship in which I'm always right.