Saturday, February 21, 2009

25 Random Lies About Me, issue nine

9. As a child I loved Legos...

legos - Share on Ovi

...and would build replicas of medieval castles in order to perform enactments of historical events.

lego castle - Share on Ovi

My dad caught me reenacting the beheadings of Catherine of Aragon and Anne Boleyn, and refused to believe my explanation.

lego heads - Share on Ovi

My parents took me to see a psychologist who happened to be a member of our church, and who offered to give them a discount.

freud - Share on Ovi

It turns out that discount child psychology isn’t as great as it sounds. The man decided that only shock therapy could control my urges to cut women’s heads off.

shock - Share on Ovi

It took me years to learn to control my facial ticks, and even now, if I shuffle my feet on carpet, I can touch people and give them small third degree burns.

Static shock - Share on Ovi

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